I want to fly....

My throat is aching,
All the words are chocking
How to call for help,
When there is only myself
There are 365 days in a year,
And same number of scars on my body,
For I don't remember anymore what is fear
I'm screaming into the soundproof walls
Trying to stay awake
I'm stuck in these realities
And can't tell real and fake
I'm alone in the middle of ocean,
Fear of drowning every breathe.
i don't know why he blames me
For losing his job
I don't know what's my fault
For the death of my mom.
Adorning the alcohol bottles into flower vase
I keep myself alive in these place
But,
I want to leave
I want to fly
I want to live where no one can make me cry!!!